Jan 25, 2019

Why I choose to be a working mom when I could stay home

This is such a personal and vulnerable topic. There are so many emotions around this choice of being a working mom or a stay at home mom. I hope that you will hear me out and read the entire post, Why I choose to be a working mom when I could stay home.

Why I choose to be a working mom when I could stay at home with my 4 children.

I always thought I would really enjoy being a stay at home mom, not a working mom. I envisioned having 2, maybe 3 kids the natural way. Nursing my babies and staying home with them. Working in my flower beds as my children gleefully played in the yard. Well that did not happen. (Here is my 1st blog in my Infertility to Adoption Series. )

After becoming a mom to 4 kids in just 14 short months, I knew I had to get on a schedule and get out of the house to work and be around people who didn’t spit up, snot or cry all over me, for at least a few days a week, or I was gonna loose my junk.

I stayed home for 5 months and that was enough for me.

After staying home for the first 5 months, I was ready to go back to work. I craved time in my business and with adults. You know, I wanted to get dressed up, enjoy my 25 minute commute to work in silence, grab lunch from a nearby cafe and eat uninterrupted.

This may sound selfish to some, but I really don’t care. I’ve learned that I can’t operate my life based on pleasing other people and being concerned about their opinion of how good a mom I am.


I have to do what I believe is right for my family and myself. If you are considering going back to work, here is a helpful video I made CHILD CARE: The GOOD, the BAD & what works for us.

So these are the reasons I work:

  • I like myself better when I get to work a few days a week. Three days in a row is my limit of days at home before I’m ready to go to work!
  • My children are excited to see me when I get home from work. You know the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder, well it’s true for me and my kids. I’m home with them 3  days a week and I work 4 days a week. I’m so thankful for this schedule that we have, this schedule I fight for, this balance of work and home life that brings me so much joy and fulfillment.
  • Our nanny offers a different perspective than we do. She has had different life experiences, has grown children and has helpful insight.
  • Our nanny is crafty and I really don’t love to do that stuff. Yeah, my idea of fun with my kids is not getting out the craft paint. But they love that stuff and she loves doing craft projects with them!
  • Working now maintains my client base for our future. In less than 2 years all 4 little ones will be in school. My clientele took years to build, and I don’t want to loose that.

And here are some more reasons…

  • We can go on vacations and have nicer things because I work. A modest beach vacation for our family of 6 is expensive. It costs money honey!
  • Staying home 24/7 with four kids, one of which has special needs is really taxing. Other special needs moms know what I’m talking about here. It’s just extra to handle, all the time.
  • It’s better for my mental health. No joke, I can see why so many women struggle with depression. Seriously.
  • It’s a semblance of my former life and identity before children. This doesn’t mean I pine after my pre-kid life, but it means at work I’m Monica Hicks, NC Licensed Skin Therapist. And I like that.
  • I’m good at my job. Yep, I am. I love what I do and my clients can see and feel that. I am told everyday that people feel better, have more confidence in their appearance and are less stressed after they’ve been on my table, and that makes me feel good!

Are you a SAHM, a working mom, or a hybrid like me?

So that is why I choose to be a working mom instead of a stay at home mom. What about you? Do you or did you work outside the home? Have a home based biz? Work for corporate American from home? Do you stay home with your kids? Do you want to go back to work, but aren’t sure how to work it all out? I’d love to know!

Hoped you enjoyed reading this blog,

Monica

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 2019 Monica Says.   •   Family & Marriage | Self Care | Fashion  
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