Sep 11, 2018

Infertility to Adoption – Part 3 “Is IVF for us?”

What an emotional time. I was so relieved to be healing. So relieved I didn’t have cancer. So relieved my husband was really holding up his end of “in sickness and in health”. And I was relieved he didn’t show disappointment in my body. The fact that I knew I couldn’t have children without IVF, in vitro fertilization, made me sad and feel less than. This new reality was hard. We both had to mourn the fact that children would not come easily to us, maybe not at all. Then my doctor suggested we look into IVF.

Then my doctor suggested we get more information about IVF.

I can’t remember exactly how long we waited to attend one of those free IVF seminars, but I think it was summer 2009. We went to a hotel conference room and listened to a presentation covering the highlights of IVF and the odds of conceiving and delivering a healthy baby. I remember that because I was still in my 20’s, 29.5 to be exact, that our odds were promising.

We decided to have an in office consultation. Soon after I had a procedure to flush out my one damaged fallopian tube and my husband had to do a sperm specimen. Bless him. His results were great. A healthy sperm count, super sperm was the term they used. But the dye test and flush showed that IVF was the only hope for us.

The plan and the cost was presented to us and it was something around $20,000. It would include numerous trips to Charlotte, about and hour and 15 min from our home. Lots of shots, and no promises.

We were both uneasy. How did we feel about going into debt for a baby. My body had been through so much. Would this even work? Was this the right choice? Neither of us had peace with IVF. That was our answer. When we are in agreement, that’s all the confirmation we need.

Plus we could not afford that. We had no substantial savings, no family who would be able to gift us $20,000 without causing financial hardship. It was another loss.

We could not afford $20,000 for IVF.

I remember feeling despair. Especially when adoption was so expensive too. A couple months later, my husband lost his job. Like many other Americans, the future was looking scary. Now I can say I’m so glad we didn’t move forward with IVF. I believe it could have been financial ruin for us.

How long would we be able to make it on one income?

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4 thoughts on “Infertility to Adoption – Part 3 “Is IVF for us?”

  1. A prime example of why you should have peace from God before you make a major decision ?I look forward to reading your blog–what a blessing!!

  2. Monica!
    Thank you for sharing! I too am going through a similar thing. This is one of the hardest decisions that my husband and I have ever had to make. We were told that I have one healthy tube and maybe one blocked tube. Either way the road presented before us is a very emotional and expensive one to go down with IVF the ending. I am not convinced that this is the way for us. I can not wait to continue reading your blog. It’s wonderful to hear you’re doing well! Best.

    1. Kandra, it’s such a hard road and you will know what to do. Especially when you agree and both have peace about the decision. I’m so glad this is encouraging to you and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. This is such an emotional time. Take comfort in your husband and this will bring you even closer.

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