Dec 17, 2018

The week our daughter was diagnosed Developmentally Delayed

It’s 5:35 in the morning on a Wednesday in September. This is the second early morning in a row I’ve woken with anxious thoughts, then distinguished said thoughts with the truth about who my daughter is. The truth that she is exactly who she is supposed to be, and the truth that we are supposed to be her parents and the truth that God put her in our lives for many reasons and that she will have a far better life with us than anyone else. The truth that we can handle a child with developmental delays. The truth that we have what it takes to be her advocate.

…God put her in our lives for many reasons…

(I can’t believe how far she had come. She was just 3 months old when we became her parents.)

I’ll go back to Monday, the day of our meeting with the local public school system. My husband and I anxiously awaited meeting our daughter’s 3 year Pre K teacher. She sounded bubbly and a little over the top, you know, perfect for a class room of little kids. We were there to review our daughter’s IEP, Individual Education Plan, after she had a group of education professionals, therapists and other people observe her, test her and gather all sorts of information from her early childhood. We knew that the results of these findings changed things. She was no longer just going to the local elementary school for speech therapy 2 days a week. Her IEP changed to school 3 full days a week.

This meeting would change things.

Meeting her teacher was a relief. She was warm, inviting and friendly and a hugger. Most days I’m a hugger too, so that doesn’t weird me out. We sat at a conference table with 2 teachers, the school administrator and her new school speech therapist. We began reviewing her history and our concerns and then got the findings of all that research on her. To see your child’s delays written in black and white and the actual percentages in all these areas is very emotional. I couldn’t hold back the tears any more. I was heartbroken right there in that school conference room for my daughter’s future. Everyone wants their child to be healthy, in mind, body, intellect and spirit. To have a full life. Developmental delays make you fear that your child will miss out.

She is the happiest child in our house.

But then something changed in my thought process. I realized that most days and and most of every day, she is the happiest child in our house. She is full of energy and life and excitement. She laughs loud, screams loud and lives life all-out every day. What more could I ask for. She may catch up and enter kindergarten with no problem, she may always have to be in a special education program, or she may land somewhere in between. I could go crazy, literally crazy over worrying about it, but that will rob me of my joy. So instead I will keep reminding my self of the truth. She is where she needs to be, and that God chose us to be her parents.

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13 thoughts on “The week our daughter was diagnosed Developmentally Delayed

  1. Monica, I think your thought process on Essie’s diagnosis is perfect. God has a plan for all of us and you’re right, he chose you and Brent for her parents. Enjoy her personality and the joy she brings to your family. You’re also correct in understanding she will have a better life with y’all than anyone else. And, it’s okay to mourn her possible limited potential. You will be in my prayers.

  2. This is just beautiful in so many ways!!
    God wanted the best for this precious child. That’s why He choose you and Brent!! Whom He calls..He Qualifies.
    This girls joy overflows to my heart most days and reminds me of what is important. God has a plan fir her and it is a plaan for Good!
    I for one will be a lifetime cheerleader for Team Hicks
    Nae nae

  3. Monica,
    I knew from the very first time I met you that God had a great plan for you and Brent. I also remember the first time I met her, knowing she would be a big part of that plan. I love you and I am one of your greatest cheerleaders.

  4. I remember the day you brought Essie home!! The proud look in both of your eyes!! She was so tiny !! As the weeks past we saw her growing!! Now she is a bubbly happy little girl that will have a life that will show her so much more than she might have ever had if it wouldn’t had been for you both coming into her life!! The love that you give her will come through in many ways!! When a child has love it makes the world of difference . God has already given her a new lease on life and he will continue to see her and you both through her hard time!! She now has the closeness of family of a family ,this in itself will change her life forever for the good!! Thank God for making that happen!! Two wonderful parents and one beautiful little girl!!

  5. She’s a precious, beautiful girl. A girl we prayed for and now pray over! Thanks for sharing your heart friend, I can’t wait to see all God does in her life and yours!!

  6. I am reminded about what the Bible says about bad reports. Moses did not get to enter the Promised Land because he believed the bad reports from the spies rather than Joshua and Caleb! With God all things are possible and he knew what He was doing when He put your daughter into your loving care. Your trust in Jesus and His wonderful plan for your family will give her a beautiful life full of joy and love! During the challenging times remember to pray and ask for God’s help. God always, always shows up! Love your blog and honest and faith-filled posts! God Bless! ❤️?❤️

  7. Not only is this well written friend but beautiful too because I know it’s your true heart. You are so right when you say she is exactly where God intended for her to be and because she’s with you both she’s gonna do great in life. Watching you and Brent become parents and growing in your roles these last few years has impressed me more than I can say. You’re awesome parents and all four of your kiddos are blessed beyond words to have you. I’m so proud of you guys! ❤️

  8. Wow, I tears reading this & yet at the end I smiled & said you guys are perfect & will do everything for Essie, Bryson, Lily & Bella❤️
    So beautifully written!

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