Sep 24, 2018

Infertility to Adoption – Part 4 “Life on Hold”

Ever feel like your life is on hold? I felt that way, like our lives were on hold for the next year. Maybe it was more survival. We were 29 and 32 at the time. I left off my last post (Is IVF for us?)  with my husband loosing his job. Many of you can relate and you know how scary it is to be laid off, especially when you have built a life that requires two incomes. So there we were calculating how long it would be until we would be unable to pay our bills. We decided to sell our home just before Brent was laid off, so it was ready. We felt totally out of control, and unsure of our future. I think the word limbo would describe how I felt about our lives. Thankfully this season brought us closer together than apart.

You have to be your husbands biggest cheerleader.

Brent decided that he would contact his customers, and let them know he had started his own repair service after being laid off. He was the person they knew anyway, so why not? He was not in any breech of contract by doing so, and he was the one with the client relationship. Please get this important next thought; ladies, times like these and how you handle them are critical to your marriage. You have to be your husbands biggest cheerleader. Brent has told me and others time and time again that my encouragement of him is what helped him succeed in going out on his own.

Leaving our house was another loss. Another reality that life was not happening the way we had hoped.

We decided to rent our house out after not being able to sell it for over 6 months. The house was all cleaned up and ready for our renter. I cried the last time we walked through the house. I guess I was mourning the reality of what we had planned our lives would be like there. I thought we would have children there. I thought I would walk them to the elementary school two blocks away. Thought they would play on the swing hanging from a giant old tree in the back yard. I was sad, but knew this is what we needed to do.

We moved the weekend of my 30th birthday to Mooresville in less than ideal circumstances. And that meant, we moved in with my grandmother. She was very kind to welcome us and we lived with her for nearly 9 months while we renovated a really cool second level apartment in Downtown Mooresville.

Picture of my 30th birthday cake at a cousins house 2010. Oh that hair, lol!

Here are some before pictures. Brent and my step dad removed old drop ceiling to find this beautiful tin ceiling that was in need of lots of TLC.

Sheet rock had to be hung, floors refinished and some sort of plaster mud removed from this beautiful exposed brick wall. It was a lot of work.

Our apartment was finally ready!!!

FFWD to October 2010. Our apartment was finally ready! We were ready to move, and my grandma was ready for us to move. We did have some good times though. My husband reminded me of the morning she thought he was gone and walked into the kitchen/laundry room in her underwear. (I’m dying laughing while I type this by the way.) They came face to face with each other and neither said a word. He went straight to our bedroom and they never spoke about it to each other. I think he moved into hight gear after that to get the apartment ready!

My grandmother was great, but I had never been so happy to move in my life. If you’ve ever lived with family, you know what I mean. You are grateful for a free place to live, but happy to go when you can.

We have privacy again!

You can see the joy on my face in this picture right here! Privacy was ours again, plus I loved this apartment and this door my dad found at an antique store. My husband and he refurbished it, polished the chrome and hung it on a barn slide waaayyyyy before it was the trend.

Things were looking up. We were moving into our own home again. Our renter was paying rent, and we had found a great church to become a part of. People began asking again, “When are you gonna have kids?” And if you are suffering from infertility, you know the range of emotions you feel. Sometimes it’s hurt, sometimes anger, sometimes self pity. I’ll share the beginning of our Foster journey next time.

 

Thanks for reading.

Monica

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Infertility to Adoption – Part 4 “Life on Hold”

  1. I remember you going through all of this.
    It was definitely an adventure!
    There was the good, the challenges, but mostly beautiful memories??❤️

  2. I love your blogs and look forward to each one–this one reminds me of when my own children had to come back home for awhile and they also were excited to move out and we were glad that we could help them—the hard times do make you stronger and wiser and also willing to help others ?

    1. That is so true. When you have hard times and someone helps you, you are more willing to help others when they need it. I think when we are humbled a little bit, we realize how blessed we have been.

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